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(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2009|10:31 am]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |lonely]
[Current Music |Pearl Jam - Black]

So Monday I drove to Austin remove myself from all distractions and do some shooting. Left at around 11ish or so and and got there around 12. Took some assorted pics of my parents backyard and then drove to Williamson County Park. Wondered around the park for about an hour and a half while taking some more shots. By the time I was done I had 26 of the 36 shot roll finished off. Kinda wished I had finished off the roll then. Saw a few shots on the way home that I should have stopped to get but meh.

Then on Tuesday between classes I walked back to my apartment and did a few quick setups in my kitchen to finish off the 10 shots remaining. Just of some random objects that were laying around. Took the shots and then went and developed the pics. The ones that I had taken at at the park came out ok. A lot of them didn't come out like I had expected. A few of them came out to dark others where I had thought I used a low enough F-stop to make the background blurry came out clear. Overall I think these have been the best exposures that I've done thus far.

Showed Sterling my contact sheet. He liked a lot of them and complimented me on them. That meant a lot especially since I respect him because he knows shit shit and pumps out some pretty good stuff too. Burt even liked some of them, despite the fact that he doesn't like us shooting indoors because its hard to get the right amount of light.

So as I was walking around in the park I was thinkin' about part of the conversation that Jess and I had. She had asked, "what do you do to relax?" and to which I replied, "I don't even know anymore." When I was in grade school I LOVED to bike. Not so much stunts but just riding around. I'd ride around just to do it, no destination in mind, just moving along. In grade school and high school I was on the a swim team. Now I don't have any sort of outlet. I've thought about picking up running or going to the gym. Thing about that is that I don't really have anyone to do it with. Mike, Enrique and Berto have kinda invited me to join them but that's all the way in San Antonio which an hour drive one way. Besides just kinda mentioning it in passing and me saying that I'd come, I haven't really got an invite to come and do anything with them. Which I'm kinda disappointed with. Maybe I need to be in SA and be like let's go run or goto the gym, heh, but I'm in SA SO often. I know I NEED to pick up something. I do get restless bein' in here all by my lonesome. Its in no way shape or form healthy, physically or mentally.

Have a meeting with my counselor this afternoon at 3 to talk about what exactly I need to take to graduate. Not really looking forward to it all that much. HOPEFULLY, I'll get accepted into the program officially. Still only considered PRE-communication design. I think I'm pretty much done with all my cores, minus the language and 1 or 2 more art histories. So pretty much just have upper division courses left. Things like Art Direction, Web Design, Commercial Branding and maybe an advanced type class. So we'll see come 3 o'clock. On the way back I'll have to pick up some stuff for matting which ever three pics I decide to mount.
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Twilight Vanquisher [Feb. 23rd, 2009|12:34 am]
[Current Mood |nerdy]

Guild finally got it. Spent all of Wednesday evening, the whole 4 hours, glass chewing; thought the last 45min to an hour wasn't so bad. Then we came back Sunday, ground for 3 hours and finally wtfpwnd the bitch. Found out that there was only 1 [Reins of the Twilight Drake]. Wasn't expecting to win it but I rolled a 97 and won, quite amusing since I'm a druid.

"What now" kinda hit us after about 10min. *LAUGH* Guess we just wait til 3.1 and work on [Immortal].
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(no subject) [Jul. 26th, 2008|11:31 pm]

I just kinda stumbled across an article while doing a project for school and it lead me to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety and http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html#whatis1. I haven't been professionally diagnosed with it at all, just self-diagnosis. Honestly I can't remember a time when I didn't feel anxious around anyone. I had just kinda accepted it as my "norm", which is probably the worst part, up until recently. The past week or two I've become fed up with being alone in my apartment day after day, shunning everyone, having no friends and being feeling alone. I want to reach out but I don't how to even begin. My only solution has been to just give in and run away from those types of situations. I don't know of any other way to deal with it. I wish I could just mentally will it away, or block it, or that there was an over the counter drug that I could buy to be rid of it. Unfortunately its just not that easy. I do wish I had the courage to ask for help, but the nature of it makes me deathly afraid of doing so. Which kinda makes me feel even more alone. I really do hate this bs.
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(no subject) [Feb. 22nd, 2006|11:07 am]
[Current Mood |angry]
[Current Music |Alice in Chains - Over Now]

Gawd I LOVE ass hats...

First of all let me say that I typically don't make a need roll for things that I don't want or need, if im just going to turn around and sell it I'll make a greed roll, for which it was INTENDED. If someone says they need it before I roll I'll generally just pass on it.

So I was in DM last night with a PUG of 5. Two of which knew each other, one was a 20 hunter some the other was in the 40s. Anyway, when we enter they lay down the rule: "All BoP (bind on pick up) should be passed on and then we discuss who gets it. Everything else is free reign". I have no problem with this because the stuff that I want isn't BoP.

After a bit in the instance, we come across a piece of set eq. I think, "awsome, I'm looking for this set! I'll roll for it." After I make my need roll the lvl 20 hunter guy messages me, "I need this." To which I reply "I need it too". He either didn't read my message or didnt understand it and messages again saying, "I need this". He wins the roll and yet again he messages me "I really need this". I'm sitting here thinking, "so other people don't need eq. they should just give everything to you and what ever you don't want they can have." He finally notices that he won the roll and then stops pestering me about it.

A few minutes later the 2 guys that know eachother both start need rolling EVERYTHING. I being the rather passive one let it slide and only greed roll thinking that they really did need it and think, "this is kind of annoying". Then they really start to get on my nerves. We come to a chest and THEY call for a roll, to which I win. Before I get to it the lvl 40 has already taken what he wanted and disenchanted the items. Then and only then does he say that I can have it! He only left 2 mana potions and a grey item.

We continue on with me becoming increasingly disgruntled with their greedy antics. Then towards the back 1/3 of the instance another piece of eq drops from that set. To which I do a need roll (only the 2nd one I've done the WHOLE instance). Again the 20 hunter starts SPAMMING me that he needs this. At this point I become fed up with them. I win the roll this time and he continues to pestering me to giving it to him.

He then starts crying to his level 40 friend who starts saying to give it to the 20 hunter. I mentioned that it according to THEIR rules the item wasn't BoP and was up for grabs. Furthermore we had already had a fair roll for it and I saw no real reason to give it up. To which they replied they wanted to roll again. WTF? Was the first roll not fair enough? Are the odds better now with us 2 rolling as opposed to when everyone else passed on the item and it WAS JUST US 2 rolling? After 2 minutes of them bitching I become determined not to fold to some spolied brat that didn't get his cookie because the rules weren't in his favor. It finally came to the point where the lvl 40 starts to try and bully it out of me. Threating to kick me out of the group and at that point I just start ignoring them by continuing on and killing mobs. It really didn't matter since we were almost done with the instance, they hadn't helped me with any of the quests I needed to complete and since I've done it before I didn't need to kill final boss.

But really, I mean it's not like the set is EXTREMELY RARE (the ONLY one that is hard to get is the chest piece which I had mind you). The only real hard part is going people to go with you to do the zone. To which he doesnt seem to have a problem with his lvl 40 clanie/friend/whatever to drag him through the zone collecting the set. I on the other hand have to pracitcly twist arms for get my clanies to even talk to me yet alone help me with a low level instance. The ONLY reason why I was able to run it with my guildies is because I noticed that they were areadly going, running DM with a non-guildie mind you, and I asked if I could join them. This is a guild that supposedly prides themselfs with "helping others". >_< Anyway, if he really wanted the set then why did they even bring anyone else?
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(no subject) [Feb. 1st, 2006|05:05 pm]
[Current Mood |...]

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived 'til I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived 'til I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived 'til I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

"I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" by Colin Hay
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“The genius of the hole: no matter how much time you spend climbing out, you can still fall back dow [Sep. 18th, 2005|01:19 am]
[Current Mood |lonely]
[Current Music |Radiohead // The Bends - Street Spirit (Fade Out) [Alternative Rock]]

"Rows of houses all bearing down on me
I can feel their blue hands touching me
All these things in all positions
All these things will one day take control
And fade out again and fade out

This machine will will not communicate these thoughts
And the strain i am under
Be a world child form a circle before we all go under
And fade out again and fade out again

Cracked eggs dead birds
Scream as they fight for life
I can feel death can see it's beady eyes
All these things into frution
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out again."

I feel so emotionally drained that the words only come when absolutely forced out.
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(no subject) [Aug. 26th, 2005|08:16 pm]
[Current Mood |cynical]
[Current Music |Radiohead // OK Computer - Paranoid Android [Alternative Rock]]

So it would seem suffice to say that if you're popular, then you have your own CCG. And well if you don't, we just don't care about you enough.
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(no subject) [Aug. 25th, 2005|09:05 pm]
[Current Mood |worried]

So I guess mom was finally able to convince dad to go in to have the chest and arm pain he's been having. Apparently he's been having them more frequently lately. :( They just left...
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2005|12:43 pm]
[Current Mood |nostalgic]
[Current Music |Janes Addiction // Janes Addiction - I'm not An Addict]

and the drama ensues. I would love nothing more then to join PA (and possibly VGC) in their endevors, but I think I'll leave it to them and live through their adventures...
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2005|12:12 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |austin]
[Current Mood |blank]
[Current Music |Oasis // Heathen Chemistry - Stop Crying Your Heart Out [-]]

I feel as though this is my 100th time writing about this, but I know I didn’t writing about it here.

And here it is...Collapse )

I wonder how long before it should be before I start eating solid foods again. I'm kind of worried that if I start eating solid foods to soon that I'll develop a dry socket. Maybe I'll start on Thursday after my follow up appointment and I have had a chance to talk to the Dr. Cunningham.
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